


Moving On

by Sneakyfox55



Series: BlossomClan/TwilightClan stuff [2]
Category: Warriors - Erin Hunter
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Made-up clans, OC-centric, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Romance, Self-Discovery, Self-Hatred, Slow Burn, Unrequited Love, implied depression
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-10
Updated: 2019-08-28
Packaged: 2019-10-25 10:17:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 16,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17723291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sneakyfox55/pseuds/Sneakyfox55
Summary: Darkember had known she was breaking the code. Now, her whole clan knows she broke the code, and avoids her because of it. Even her close friend, Lilystar, treats her as though she’s a stranger.No one is willing to give her a chance, and she refuses to seek out help or comfort from anyone. She’s all alone now.She finally accepts that she will never be loved by another cat again.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> heeeey
> 
> So lately I've been working more on a couple Warriors fanfics (I was watching a lot of videos from the fandom and got inspired ok) and decided to post this sucker. Granted, the characters here are from a story I made a WHILE ago, like, a few years ago. I don't know how you would have seen it, since it was very unpopular, but the story was called "Would You Die for Me?" and I posted it on one of those fandom websites where you can pretty much edit any page you can get your hands/mouse on. No idea where it is now, though...
> 
> Anyway, that story originated from a thing I sort of did for fun; basically I made two clans up--along with a bunch of cats, of course--and had this sort of "news" document that told of everything that had happened in the clan: warrior ceremonies, births, etc.. I gave them their own personalities, families, and everything, and in one way or another this lead to me basing a story off one of my characters, Darkember.
> 
> I always kind of knew what I wanted to do with her simply by creating "Would You Die for Me?". Based on the concept, there obviously needed to be a forbidden romance between her and someone. Eventually, I chose another character of mine named Tigerpatch to be her mate from TwilightClan, who would eventually become the deputy of his clan. Then Darkember would get pregnant and they'd be seen one day by Lilystar, etc etc...
> 
> aNYWAY my other point is that this isn't a story that's revising or remaking that one. I'll do that later. This one, which I started in December, is meant to take place after it. It's about them (Darkember specifically) learning to cope with being separated and having to live their daily lives without ever seeing each other. Like the title says, it's a "moving on" type of story. I hope that makes sense in some way. (And yes this probably is spoiling the entirety of the prequel :'))
> 
> So yeah! After you read this chapter--along with my rambling here--feel free to let me know what you think!

“I’m sorry,” the she-cat murmured. “I never should have made you choose like that.”

The tabby tom’s whiskers twitched anxiously. “No, I should be apologizing. I’m sorry I was never the mate you wanted me to be. I want you to know that I _would_ die for you, if fate wills it, but... But when I saw Rowanstar...” His voice trembled. “When I saw her lose one of her lives, I realized where my true loyalties lie.”

“And they aren’t with me,” she concluded. The tom ducked his head.

“My clan needs me more right now,” he said hoarsely. “I can’t fail them. And I can’t tell you how sorry I am. I do love you, Darkember, and I always will.”

“I know,” she mewed. “I understand. I just... Wish things were different.”

A loud yowl interrupted them, and the tabby turned to Darkember, pain flashing in his eyes. “That’s Rowanstar. I... I need to go.”

“This is goodbye, then?” Darkember flicked her tail-tip.

He nodded slowly. “The next time I see you, we’ll be rivals once more. I don’t know if I can bear that.”

“We have to, Tigerpatch,” she responded softly. “Whether we want it or not, we must behave as if this never happened.”

“Must we?” Head and tail drooping, he let out a sigh. “I don’t want to pretend this never happened. I... I don’t want to forget you.”

Darkember flattened her ears and met his gaze for a moment, her own eyes shining with emotion. “I don’t want to forget you, either,” she choked. “But I-I have to. We... We can’t go on like this. We just _can’t_. Everyone already knows. Even if we try to make it work, they’ll—”

She cut herself off, her entire body shaking like a leaf. For a while, neither of them said anything, and simply stood in silence until another caterwaul reached their ears. Without warning, Tigerpatch stepped forward and touched his nose to Darkember’s.

“I love you,” he said, voice cracking.

She licked his muzzle in return. “I love you, too,” she whispered.

They reluctantly pulled away from each other, Darkember staring on blankly as he glanced back one last time before disappearing into the foliage. A moment later, the bushes rustled behind her, and a gray she-cat made her presence known.

“It is done?” she inquired.

Darkember avoided looking at her as she muttered, “There will be no more meetings between us, Lilystar.”

“Good,” the other meowed curtly. “The only issue we have now is that you are pregnant, are you not?”

“You know I am,” the black she-cat growled, her patience wearing thin with her leader’s interrogations. “You were there when I told him, remember?”

Lilystar’s eyes narrowed. “I want to make sure there is nothing else you are deceiving me with,” she hissed. “Now come. I need to figure out a punishment for you.”

With that, the gray she-cat trotted off through the forest. Darkember followed more slowly, her tail dragging on the ground.

\---

Lilystar’s voice boomed from Highledge, reaching every corner of the camp. “As many of you are aware of,” she meowed calmly, “this cat has broken one of the sacred laws of the Warrior Code. She has fallen in love with the deputy of TwilightClan.”

In response to her words, yowls of horror and disgust broke out from those who hadn’t known yet, and even those who had known. Almost the entire clan was screaming their outrage, as though they didn’t care who might hear them.

“Because she has deceived StarClan, as well as her own clan,” Lilystar continued, “she will be punished. From now on, she will no longer be permitted to leave the camp, nor partake in any warrior duties. However, she is expecting, and will be treated as any normal queen. Do all of you understand?”

Murmurs of uncertainty went through the crowd. Darkember pressed herself flat to the rock flooring underneath her feet, as though it could hide her.

“You are dismissed,” announced Lilystar, ignoring the clan’s hostility. “Oh,” she added, “one last thing.” As her eyes raked Darkember’s pelt, she mewed lowly, “Be careful who you trust.”

With that, she launched herself off Highledge, leaving the smaller, black-and-ginger cat to cower as all of BlossomClan stared up at her with judgmental eyes.


	2. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo I decided to post the next part, since this is the only other chapter I've finished so far. I'm currently working on Chapter 2, but I still have school to do (not to mention I'm sick at the moment so that's fun). Plus, it takes some time for me to get inspired to write it (not that I don't want to I'm just weird) and that may take me a while, so please bear with me here. I promise I'll get it out at some point, haha.

Darkember woke up in her nest and found the other nests around her empty. She pulled herself to her paws and let out a yawn, arching her back in a stretch. Sunlight filtered in through the branches of the den, alerting her all the more.

She padded out into the camp, only to immediately be greeted by a hiss. “Get away from me, you piece of crowfood!”

Darkember stared back at the she-cat in her way, unblinking. “I have done nothing to you, Heatherwing.”

“Is that so?” Heatherwing spat, stalking towards her. “Because, as far as I’m concerned, you’ve betrayed _all_ of us.”

“I didn’t betray anyone,” retorted Darkember. “I’m still loyal to BlossomClan, whether you believe it or not. I’ve moved on from Tigerpatch.”

Unsheathing her claws, she let out a snarl. “Do you really think I care? You will never be my clanmate!”

Just then, a tall, gray tom sauntered up to them, his tail flicking back and forth. “Heatherwing, that’s enough. There is no use in acting this way.”

The brown she-cat glared at him. “Oh, so _you’re_ siding with the traitor now! That’s rich!”

“I am siding with no one,” Grayheart told her calmly. “My point is, there are more useful things to do around here than argue with others.”

The brown she-cat sniffed. “Fine. I’ll join Flameleap’s patrol, if it satisfies you.”

“It does.” He flicked her ear with his tail, and blinked in amusement as he watched her scurry away. “Crazy she-cat,” he muttered.

When his attention moved to her, Darkember lowered her gaze. “Thanks,” she mumbled. She glanced up again, only to freeze at seeing something peculiar in his gaze. _Is that... Sympathy_ _?_

However, before she could say anything else, he dipped his head curtly and trotted away. Alone once more with her thoughts, Darkember sighed and turned toward the fresh-kill pile.

 

By the time sun-high was nearing, the mouse between Darkember’s paws was completely devoured; yet still, she did not stir, as this particular spot was directly in the sun. Stretching her legs outward, she moved to her side (while being mindful of her stomach) and shut her eyes.

Just then, the brambles that made up the camp entrance rustled, and she opened her eyes again to see Lilystar with her apprentice, Stormpaw. The young tom was trailing behind his mentor, a skip in his step as he carried a large mouthful of prey. The two of them came to a halt by the fresh-kill pile, and Darkember could now clearly see the excitement in Stormpaw’s eyes.

“Did I—” he began, only to realize he had begun to talk with his catch still in his jaws. He set it down and tried again, his tail flicking back and forth in eagerness. “Did I do well?”

“Of course,” the leader purred. “You did _very_ well. But first, I...”

She trailed off, her eyes having wandered to the fresh-kill pile, and ultimately, resting on Darkember herself. Hesitating, Lilystar once more turned to her apprentice.

“I must go speak with Grayheart,” she finished, her voice tense. “Wait here. I better see no fur missing from his pelt, Darkember,” she added harshly. With that, she stalked toward Highledge.

Flattening her ears, the tortoiseshell lowered her head, as though she expected Stormpaw to insult her as well. Instead, he padded over to her, his ears pricked up in greeting.

“Hello!” he mewed in a pleasant tone. “How are you today?”

Darkember struggled to find words, utterly confused. He was no longer as young-minded as he was when he first became an apprentice, and was practically larger than her at this point, but wouldn’t Lilystar have influenced him beforehand? Why was he being nice to her?

“I’m fine,” she responded stiffly.

“When are your kits due?” he continued, unopposed to her somewhat hostile tone.

Glancing at her belly warily, Darkember mumbled, “I don’t know. Why does it matter?” As she turned her gaze back to him, she narrowed her eyes. She couldn’t help it. “Why should I have reason to trust you?” she spat. “No one has ever given me the time of day. I don’t want you near me or my kits ever again! _Never_!”

Stormpaw took a step back, as though he had been struck by her. Flattening his own ears, he stammered, “W-well, I... I have a warrior ceremony anyway, so... I best be going.”

He spun around and darted off, causing a small pebble of guilt to settle in Darkember’s belly. She hadn’t meant to be so rude to the young tom. Somewhere, she did know he was truly just trying to be friendly; but then again, what if it was all just a lie? What if he turned out to be just like the others?

 _How can I trust a cat who_ _isn’t_ _even allowed to trust_ _me_ _?_


	3. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's pretty late as I'm posting this so sorry if there's any typos, haha. I hope you like it anyways!
> 
> Originally this was going to be a longer chapter than normal, because I featured more stuff and a random time-skip, but because of the time-skip I felt it would be better to divide up the chapter, so now there's two I have finished. They're both pretty short as a result. I hope posting them both right in a row will make up for it. (Like I said though it's late, so I'll post the second one sometime tomorrow.)

As the queen tried to ease her breathing, Splotchrain pushed some purple berries towards her. “Here,” she mewed, “these should help.”

The tortoiseshell she-cat licked them up gratefully, panting. “Thank you,” she puffed.

Fawnpelt, who stood by her mentor’s side, blinked at her anxiously. “Are you sure you feel okay?” she asked. “That seemed... Hard for you.” She then turned to Splotchrain. “I didn’t mess up, did I?”

“Of course not. You did fine.” Twitching her whiskers, she meowed, “Would you mind getting Darkember some water?”

“O-oh, sure,” the young she-cat stammered, bounding away to fetch a piece of moss.  Heartbeats later, she reappeared and set the soaked moss ball at Darkember’s paws, and this time, the tortoiseshell merely gave her a grateful look before lapping up its drops. 

Splotchrain turned back to Darkember, though did not look directly at her; instead, her gaze rested on the pair of brand new bundles of fur that lay in the curve of the queen’s belly. “Have you picked out names yet?” she asked.

Darkember blinked, as though it only then occurred to her that she should name her newborn kits. “Not really,” she admitted. “Truthfully, that is... The last thing I’m concerned about.”

The medicine cat dipped her head. “Of course. Well, let me or Fawnpelt know if you need anything else.”

“Alright.” She rested her head on her paws, exhausted. “Thank you again, Splotchrain.”

The older she-cat nodded and padded away. Fawnpelt remained for a moment, then followed suit, which left Darkember alone with her kittens.

“I’m sorry,” she murmured to them. “You wouldn’t be in this mess if it weren’t for me.”

Letting out a small sigh, she closed her eyes and let sleep overcome her.

 

After what only seemed like heartbeats later, she awoke to the sounds of the cats bustling outside. It didn’t take her long to realize it was late in the morning, and in the light, she could see the pelts of her kits clearly now.

 _They look just like Tigerpatch,_ she thought.

Both she-kits were still sound asleep, their small faces buried in the coarse fur of her stomach. They didn’t seem to notice the movement of her moving closer to them, or the gentle stroke of her tongue over their soft fur. She almost panicked until she saw the tiny rise and fall of their bodies, reassuring her they were fine.

For a moment, as she gazed down at her two kits, everything around her appeared to come to a halt. For a moment, everything was perfect. All her worries faded away, and she felt as though the three of them were the only cats in the world.

And then, she thought of Tigerpatch.

“They will grow up hated by their clanmates,” she whispered to herself, realizing.

Suddenly, the world didn’t seem as bright; and all her hope was gone in an instant.

Her body felt as though it were shaking as she turned her eyes back to the camp that loomed in front of her, just out of reach.

_They’re not safe. And it’s all my fault._

“Darkember?”

A voice brought her out of her thoughts, and she realized she had met the eyes of Stormear, who stood a few fox-lengths away in the entrance of the nursery. The fur on her spine rose.

“What do _you_ want?” she hissed, tail instinctively curling itself tighter around her kits. The tom simply blinked at her, and she only then realized a wren lay at his paws.

“I... I noticed you were awake,” he explained. “So I thought you... Might be hungry, after last night. You probably haven’t eaten in a while. Have you?”

“Why does that matter?!” snapped Darkember as she unsheathed her claws. “I told you I don’t want you near us!”

“Right. S-sorry, I just thought...” The young tom trailed off, looking anxious again. “I’m sorry. I’ll leave if you wish.”

“If I _wish_?” She narrowed her eyes. “Never mind that. Just go!”

He nodded quickly. “But, um...” he said hesitantly, shuffling his paws in an awkward manner, “will you at least eat this?”

Before she could respond, he pushed the wren closer so it lay at her own feet. She merely glared at him in response.

“And why would I take prey from a stranger?” she growled.

“Stranger?” he mewed in surprise. “I’m not a stranger. I’m your clanmate.”

Darkember curled her lip. “There is no difference to me. Now get out.”

Sighing, Stormear turned and padded out of the den, his tail low to the ground. The queen sniffed with contempt.

“Fox-heart,” she muttered to herself. “What makes him think I’d ever...” She trailed off, her attention falling on the piece of fresh-kill in front of her.

She hadn’t wanted to admit it, but she _was_ hungry; and if she wanted her kits to be healthy, she needed to eat. Besides, regardless of it being from another cat, it would be disrespectful to StarClan if she ignored it. Whether she liked or not, there was no way around this. She couldn’t just leave the wren to waste.

Reluctantly, she began devouring the small bird--almost ravenously--and fell asleep shortly after. She didn’t wake up until early evening, and it was then she discovered that the remnants of the wren were missing.


	4. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a little shorter than the other. I hope you guys don't mind. ^^'

The next few sunrises passed swiftly, it seemed. A couple of times, Splotchrain came to check on her, and when she was too busy, Fawnpelt showed up instead. Both of them sometimes brought her fresh-kill, but more often than not simply brought herbs. Darkember slowly grew used to their company, and eventually learned to trust the two medicine cats.

With each day that went by, the more Darkember’s kits grew, and the more she grew apprehensive. She didn’t want to think about it, but she couldn’t help the dark thoughts that prodded at the back of her mind. What was to become of them? What if she couldn’t protect her kits? She couldn’t even trust her own clan anymore. Lilystar herself could change her mind at any given moment, and exile them from BlossomClan.

And what then? She couldn’t possibly take care of two kits on her own, could she? TwilightClan was out of the question as well. Rowanstar would just turn them away.

What would they do?

“Mama?”

For what seemed like the hundredth time, she was brought out of her thoughts, and she realized she had been drifting away from reality once again. She forced herself to relax, and met the gaze of a small yet energetic she-kit.

“Yes, little one?” she asked, a slight purr starting up in her throat.

“When can we go outside?” Brindlekit’s little rump wiggled, as though she seriously considered pouncing on her mother. (Perhaps she did. Said mother wouldn’t put it past her.)

Darkember flicked her ear. “Soon.”

Lionkit’s head popped up from behind Darkember’s back. “When’s soon?”

“When you’re old enough,” the queen said with finality. “That will be in a couple of moons. It’s not long.”

“Moons?” whined Lionkit. “But Fawnpelt told me we could—”

“Hush. It’s time for your nap.” She lifted the complaining she-kit by her scruff and set her down by her belly.

“But I don’t wanna nap,” murmured Brindlekit, shuffling over to the queen’s side as though her paws were made of stone. “I wanna go outside. There are more cats out there...”

“In time, my dear kits,” soothed Darkember as she licked both of their heads in turn. “In time.”

Once she saw the slow, rhythmic movement of their torsos that made certain they were asleep, she rested her own head on her paws, and breathed out a mouthful of air she hadn’t known she’d been holding.

There were some cats who supported her, she knew. Splotchrain, while guarded and seeming to follow Lilystar’s judgement, made an effort to take care of her; and even Grayheart, who she didn’t see often, went against his mother on account of her cruel behavior towards her former friend.

What would happen to her kits, Darkember didn’t know. Despite Grayheart’s protests, Lilystar might not change her mind. And why would she? Darkember had betrayed her. Why _should_ she let them stay in the clan? Darkember would just betray her all over again.

 _I don’t care who supports me and who doesn’t,_ she thought. _I see clearly now that either way, I am undeserving of their trust._ _Regardless of what I need to do to protect myself, they have a right to punish my mistakes._

She just hoped her kits wouldn’t make the same mistakes she had.


	5. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHEW I FINALLY GOT THIS BABY DONE
> 
> but seriously, I only started working on this chapter a few days ago, and I just now finished it a few minutes ago. I was really in the zone, haha. And for once it's kind of a long chapter! (Longer than normal anyway.) Also, we're in the thick of the plot now! More important things are about to happen! I'm actually pretty excited, ahh!! 
> 
> Lol ok I'll stop now. Hope you enjoy reading!

The sun was low in the sky as the border patrol made their way into camp, their pelts ruffled as though they had just been through a windstorm. At the head, Ravenstep narrowed his eyes as he saw Darkember in her usual spot at the fresh-kill pile, but he made no comment and turned to the gray tom that stood at his side.

“Would you mind fetching Lilystar, Flightpaw?” he said, his mew hushed. “She needs to know about this.”

Flightpaw dipped his head and darted off toward the leader’s den. Flattening her ears, Darkember redirected her gaze from the patrol, though she could still feel their eyes boring into her. Brindlekit and Lionkit tumbled around in a heap at her paws, and she gently plied them away from each other.

“Why don’t you two go find Fawnpelt?” she meowed softly. “Maybe she can teach you more about herbs.”

“Herbs?” Lionkit squeaked, eyes huge with fascination. Brindlekit wrinkled her nose.

“But she teaches us stuff like that all the time!” she protested. “I thought we knew everything already.”

“Not everything,” Darkember assured. She gave them a gentle nudge with her muzzle, and Lionkit scampered off, Brindlekit close behind as she refused to let her littermate outrun her.

By the time Darkember turned back, most of the patrol had dispersed. Ravenstep still stood in place, along with Stormear, who she suddenly realized had been with them as well. Unlike his brother, who was calm and collected despite the atmosphere, Stormear’s tail flicked back and forth, and his paws seemed to shuffle the earth anxiously. He’d even shoot her a glance every once in a while, as though she was the answer to his problems. (Or was she the cause?)

 _What have I done this time?_ wondered Darkember. _Why is every cat on edge?_

Not long afterwards, Flightpaw returned to his mentor, the BlossomClan leader in tow. Her expression was neutral and stone-faced, but if Darkember didn’t know any better, she could tell her old friend was giving her a hard stare.

“Darkember,” Lilystar acknowledged coolly. If she was angry, her voice betrayed so. “According to Ravenstep, something peculiar happened at the TwilightClan border.”

The tortoiseshell curled her tail around her paws. “And you think this has to do with me?” she inquired.

Lilystar narrowed her eyes, her gaze piercing into the other she-cat like thorns. “A TwilightClan patrol claimed to have seen you near their border,” she stated flatly. “Care to explain yourself?”

Darkember froze. “Wh-what?” was all she could manage. “I-I wasn’t near their border! You ordered me to stay in camp!”

“And yet, you have the nerve to disobey me?”

The young she-cat’s claws sank themselves into the ground. “They lied!” she gasped out. “I never disobeyed! I promised you, Lilystar. I _promised_! You know I’d never—”

“And what exactly do promises mean from you, Darkember?!”

A moment later, the sudden fury in her eyes vanished. Flicking her tail, Lilystar regarded the queen with her previous neutral expression, though it was clearly forced. “No matter,” she meowed professionally. “This will be fixed. There’s no problem, right?”

Darkember’s pelt was a prickling beehive as she responded, her ears pinned flat against her head and fur fluffed out. “There’s no problem because I never left camp,” she hissed. “Ask anyone, and they’ll tell you I was here the whole time! Ravenstep doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”

“How _dare_ you insult the intelligence of my clan?” The gray she-cat sniffed in contempt. “Consider yourself lucky I choose to let you and your kin stay, even now. Why, if they so much as put one whisker out of place—”

“You’d do that?”

Surprised to find the interruption hadn’t been her own, Darkember switched her gaze from Lilystar to the tom that stood nearby. His own fur was still bushed out, and the conversation between the two she-cats didn’t seem to help. His eyes stretched wide, and he looked at his leader with something like horror.

“You would exile helpless kits?” Stormear said in a small voice.

Lilystar stared back at him blankly, for once looking unsure of herself. “I...” she began, hesitantly. “I didn’t say that. I mean when they are older. I would _never_ abandon kits, regardless of their blood.”

Blinking, the tom seemed to relax somewhat, though he still appeared wary. Darkember stared back at him, stupefied, then looked away quickly as he met her gaze.

“Anyways,” Lilystar continued. “Because you disobeyed me further, I must assign you another punishment. You will go until next moonrise without fresh-kill.”

“ _What_?” The words escaped her mouth before she could fully process anything that had happened, and she sprang to her paws like a startled hare. A bright, blinding flash of anger flared within her, and she snarled, “How will my kits eat?! They need my milk! If I can’t feed them—”

“They are almost old enough to eat fresh-kill on their own,” the leader meowed abruptly. “We will simply get them started on it early.”

“You can’t do that! They _need_ me!” The last of her words practically rose to a wail, and she found herself frantically looking to Stormear, as though searching for some kind of support. The young warrior met her eyes with an equally-distressed expression, and seemed at a loss for words this time.

“It’s not like I’m separating you from them all-together,” Lilystar growled harshly. “You will still be able to see them, and it is only for a short while. By tomorrow at moonhigh, you can eat your share again.”

“But I didn’t even _do_ anything!” Darkember shrieked. “I was here in the camp the entire time! I never betrayed _anyone_!”

“So you say!” The gray she-cat whirled on her, fury gleaming in her eyes once more, stronger than it was previously. “But you betrayed this clan the moment you had those kits of yours; the moment you set eyes on him! You betrayed us, Darkember! You betrayed ME!”

With that, she spun around and darted off, not giving any of them a chance to respond. Darkember’s eyes followed after her, then switched desperately to Ravenstep.

“Please!” she implored. “Just listen to me, won’t you? TwilightClan was lying; I would never betray my clan in this way! I can’t be punished like this, my kits need me! Why must they be punished for my mistakes?”

For just a moment, the warrior’s expression seemed to soften. But, just as quickly, his gaze hardened, and he pushed past her without another word or glance. Completely bewildered and looking entirely out of place, Flightpaw dashed after him.

Now alone with Stormear, Darkember sank to her paws, utterly defeated. _Why bother even trying with him? He’ll just show me the same unfeeling bitterness._

Then, she sensed a presence settle themselves beside her, and a voice murmured, “I’m sorry.”

The she-cat’s head shot up and she glared at him with a pathetic attempt at spite. “What do _you_ have to be sorry for?” she spat hoarsely.

To her surprise, something sincere and raw filled his eyes as he gazed at her; not sympathy, but something deeper. “I shouldn’t have let them treat you like that,” he meowed. “Maybe... Maybe I could have convinced Ravenstep otherwise, somehow.”

“And why would you do that? For me, of all cats?”

“Because I believe you. I know you wouldn’t sabotage your kits like that. It’s not the kind of cat you are.”

She breathed out a sigh, and returned to resting her head on her paws. “That’s easy to say now. I haven’t betrayed you yet.”

“Why would you betray me?” he asked.

“Didn’t you hear Lilystar?” She choked up on her last words, and forced her voice to remain clear. “I betrayed her. Who’s to say I won’t do it again? The cats I’ve loved most, I’ve betrayed. So what does that say about my love for them? Brindlekit and Lionkit are next for me to stop loving.”

“Don’t say that,” he mewed.

“Why not?” she challenged. “You know it’s true. How could you possibly know otherwise?”

Slowly, hesitantly, he laid his paw on hers, and she noticed for the first time that he was shaking. Had he been shaking the whole time? Had he ever stopped?

“I can’t know for certain. But they’re your family,” he said firmly, yet quietly. “Even if you do betray them in some way, you could never stop loving them. You’re not a bad cat, like everyone thinks you are; like _you_ think you are. All you need is someone to believe that for you.”

Darkember scoffed. “You have too much faith in me.”

“And you don’t have enough faith in me,” he countered.

Rolling her eyes, she let out another sigh. “Fine. If you’re that sure of yourself.”

Finally looking to have brightened up, Stormear began to purr. “So you’ll let me help you?”

“I suppose so,” she muttered.

Even now, despite his support, she felt reluctant to trust him. After all, who's to say he wouldn't go back on his word, and betray _her_? Perhaps she was hoping for too much.

...And yet, a part of her wanted to purr along with him. 


	6. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I started this chapter a few weeks ago and just got inspiration to finish it yesterday, so here you go! Hope you like it. ^^
> 
> (btw, for lack of confusion, this takes place early at dawn when most of the clan is still asleep.)

“Hey, no fair!” Brindlekit squealed from under Lionkit. “I wasn’t even looking yet!”

Lionkit twitched her whiskers, hardly phased by her sister’s squirming. “Exactly,” she stated in a matter-of-fact tone. “I’m not gonna take it easy on you just because you’re _kin_ , mousebrain!”

Letting out a grunt, the smaller she-kit fell limp. Then, just as Lionkit lowered her guard, Brindlekit kicked out her back legs and flung her off her, yowling her vengeance. She sprang to her paws and glared at her littermate, who was pulling herself to her own paws.

“That was _completely_ unfair!” Lionkit wailed in a high-pitched voice; apparently, much too loudly, for Darkember’s scolding voice drifted from the nursery, sounding irritated as ever as she told them to quiet down once more. The ginger she-kit flattened her ears, as Brindlekit giggled at her.

Growling lowly, Lionkit bunched her muscles, fully prepared to tackle her sister once more. However, a pair of paws moved in her way, and she almost leaped at them instead purely out of frustration if not for the voice that spoke.

“What did your mother just tell you?” it meowed. “You’ll wake up the entire clan!”

Sighing, Lionkit relaxed and looked up at the tom towering above her. “Sorry, Stormear,” she mewed.

He purred in amusement. “You’re forgiven. Is she awake?” he continued, turning his gaze to the den behind them.

Brindlekit nodded. “She yelled at Lionkit,” she added, causing said she-kit to give her littermate a spiteful look.

“She mentioned both of us,” she muttered, but Brindlekit ignored her.

“I see.” Without another word, Stormear turned and started back the opposite way. The two she-kits exchanged a confused glance, and watched him as he made his way to the edge of the camp. Then Lionkit’s eyes widened in realization.

“Oh, I get it,” she squeaked as the tom stepped up to the fresh-kill pile. “He’s getting Mama some fresh-kill.”

“But I thought she wasn’t supposed to have that?” Brindlekit said.

“Yeah but she didn’t do anything wrong!” defended Lionkit. “Maybe he knows that too.”

Brindlekit tilted her head. “I guess. Anyway,” she continued, beginning to waggle her rump, “I’m bored! Let’s play some more!”

Lionkit rolled her eyes, then pounced on her sister without warning, initiating a squeal from her once more.

\---

Darkember lifted her head as a shadow blocked the entrance to the nursery. Twitching her whiskers, she quickly recognized the figure.

“Shouldn’t you have something better to do?” she asked, eyeing the rabbit he held in his mouth.

Padding closer, the tom laid the prey at her paws. Unlike the last time he’d been there, he seemed more at ease, and his eyes sparkled with something she couldn’t quite place.

“You say that as if this isn’t important,” he meowed.

Darkember shifted in her nest, avoiding his gaze. When she remained quiet, he added, “I made sure nobody was watching me, so you won’t get in trouble or anything.”

“Me? In trouble?” She let out a dry, humorless chuckle. “When has _that_ ever happened?”

“I mean it,” Stormear mewed, stepping yet closer. “And if they do figure it out, I’ll take the blame for you.”

She still refused to meet his gaze as she muttered, “What’s the point? Either way, I’ve ruined everything for me and my kits. Our own clan hates us.”

“Stop it. You’ll chase the rest of the prey away with that negativity.”

“Might as well.”

“Darkember!” he said crossly. Finally, she met his eyes, seeming as weary as ever.

“I’m sorry,” she rasped, something like shame clouding her gaze. “I shouldn’t be dragging you into my problems.”

“No,” countered Stormear. “You need to stop dragging _you_ into them.”

Darkember lifted her head, giving him a questioning look. He faltered.

“I-I mean,” he stammered, “th-that didn’t really make sense, but...”

Once again, he scuffed the earth with his paws, something she now realized he did when he was nervous or embarrassed. “I think I get what you mean,” she mewed after a moment.

His eyes, which had wandered to the floor, darted back up. “Really?”

The tortoiseshell nodded, her gaze softening as she watched him further. “But it won’t be easy for me,” she murmured. “You know that.”

It was Stormear’s turn to nod, flattening his ears. “I do,” he admitted. “Sometimes I forget that’s not how it works. But,” he added, hopefully yet softly, “you will at least try, won’t you? Try to, you know... Fight the negativity, maybe?”

 _He wants me to_ try _to fight it?_ Darkember thought. _Trying isn’t easy, either. And he knows it’s hard for me, after everything that’s happened. How can he expect me to do_ _i_ _t?_

But then she looked into his eyes again, and studied the hope and resolve that was reflected in them. She realized it meant a lot to him, for reasons she was unaware. How could he be like that? How could he be so certain of himself, when she gave no sign of changing? Where did that positivity come from?

 _I used to have that same positivity, didn’t I?_ she recognized. And now, because of the choices she had made, it was gone. She couldn’t have cared less about that before, yet something about this tom made her feel differently now. She didn’t want him to make those kinds of choices.

Surely, there was no hope for her, but...

“Fine,” she finally responded, voice barely above a whisper. “I’ll try.” _Only for you._

The sparkle in Stormear’s eyes returned, and she decided she’d made the right decision. “Alright! Well, see you later! I think I have to go on a patrol later, so I won’t be back until after that.”

“Okay,” she meowed. “...Oh, when that time comes, do you think you could do a favor for me?”

“Of course!” he mewed cheerfully. “What do you need?”

“If it’s too much, I understand,” she rambled.

“It’ll be fine!” he assured. “What is it?”

“I could always still do it myself...”

“Darkember, we’ve been over this many times before!” Stormear chastised. “I’d be happy to help you.”

The queen sighed. “If you say so,” she mumbled. “I... I was wondering if maybe, you could look after Brindlekit and Lionkit for me?”

For a moment, the tom stared back at her. She considered taking her question back when he answered. “Really?” he asked, a slight purr in his voice. “You trust me with them?”

“Yes, I suppose?” She flicked one of her ears, wondering where his sudden joy was coming from. “It’s just... Everything’s been really tiring lately. I listened while you talked to them outside, and they seem to respect _you_ , at least. Are you sure you can handle it?” she continued almost fretfully. “They can be quite a pawful sometimes... You don’t have to do it long—o-or even at all if...”

“It’ll be _fine_ ,” he insisted. “Don’t worry about it. However, you have to promise me something before then.”

Instantly, an involuntary wave of anxiety flooded Darkember. “What?” she mewed, trying to keep the tremor out of her voice. Sensing her panic, he offered a quick, reassuring smile.

“You have to promise me you’ll get some rest for once,” he concluded gently. “ _Actual_ rest, where you don’t have to worry about anything, and forget about all the cares in the world. That’s what you deserve.”

The she-cat ducked her head, ears and pelt suddenly feeling hot. “T-thank you,” she managed.

“Oh, and don’t forget to eat the rabbit while it’s still fresh!” he called over his shoulder as he turned to leave.

Darkember shot to her paws, surprising herself with her urgency.  “Wait! I...” He turned to face her again, and for a moment, she lost all knowledge of speaking. “I...” she began again, still stumbling over her words. “Er... Thank you.”

“You said that already,” he purred. She shook her head.

“No, I mean...” She let out a deep breath, gathering the last of her courage. “...Thank you, for everything you’ve done for me. I haven’t told you that enough.”

Stormear blinked, then gave her a warm smile once more. “You’re welcome.”

As she watched him pad out of the nursery, Darkember settled back on her paws, feeling more content than before.

And, for the first time in a long time, a small smile of her own spread across her muzzle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Truly, Stormear is much happier about this than he should be. ;3


	7. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longest chapter, yay! And it's from Stormear's POV this time!
> 
> Hope you like it! ^^

Padding into the camp, the first thing Stormear was met with was a young kit tumbling herself into his paws. He practically leaped backwards in alarm. “Brindlekit!” he hissed, flicking his tail more in shock than anger. “Watch where you step!”

The she-kit shook her small pelt and sprang to her feet. “Sorry,” she mewed, blinking regretfully at him. “I didn’t see you there, honest.”

His fur fell flat again after a moment. “It’s alright,” he sighed, gaze softening. “You just startled me, that’s all.”

The tension in her own body fading, Brindlekit’s ears perked up in interest, watching as the cats behind him dispersed. “What happened?” she asked excitedly. “Did you see any foxes? Was there a fight?”

Chuckling in amusement, the warrior shook his head. “No, there was nothing of that sort,” he assured. “However, I’d like to speak with Darkember for a moment. Where is she?”

“She stayed behind with Lionkit in the nursery.”

“What about you? You’re not with them?”

Rolling her eyes, the kitten settled on her haunches. “They both said they were too tired to play,” she muttered, “so I left. We’re almost apprentices, y’know!” she added, annoyance creeping into her tone. “If Lionkit lazes around like that all the time, she won’t want to do stuff with me anymore, and then we’ll never get to be apprentices together! Where will I be then?”

“How about this,” Stormear mewed. “You bring her back here, and I’ll try to convince her to play; with all your energy, she’ll _have_ to become an apprentice with you.”

Brindlekit’s eyes widened. “You really think so?” He nodded, and her eyes twinkled further. “Thank you, Stormear!” she squealed, racing off to the far side of camp. The tom shook his head, purring in amusement.

 _I really do wonder how she deals with them,_ he thought. Then, he froze. _Oh, I forgot! I was supposed to watch them today!_

He glanced back to the nursery anxiously, paws instinctively moving. He couldn’t just tell her _now_ , after promising to let her rest. He wouldn’t do that to her. He _couldn’t_. She’d just get upset again, and...

Stormear flattened his ears. _I don’t want to see her upset again._

But... She had to know eventually. Right?

Before he could ponder further, Brindlekit bounded up to him again, Lionkit following more slowly. Though appearing weary, her expression brightened upon seeing him, and she didn’t seem too disconcerted about having been woken up by her littermate.

“Can we eat first?” she asked eagerly, her tail beginning to twitch with excitement. “Darkember said we can have fresh-kill now, and I’m hungry!”

The black-and-white tom’s smile faltered for a moment, but he quickly plastered another one back on his face. “Of course!” he mewed. “Did Darkember let you try some of the rabbit I gave her?”

Both she-kits nodded. Stormear continued, “Well, there’s much more to try. What would you like to start with?”

Trotting over the fresh-kill pile, Lionkit pointed with her tail at something near the top. “That one!” she decided. “It looks soft and feathery.”

“That’s a thrush,” Stormear told her. Brindlekit’s tail flicked back and forth.

“I want to try something different!” she objected, stepping up to peer at the pile. “Um, that long thing-y there looks cool.”

Stormear wrinkled his nose, but obliged by both their requests. He handed the thrush to Lionkit, and to Brindlekit, the adder. “Now, try not to waste either of them, alright?” he meowed. “This prey is a gift from StarClan. We don’t want to make them upset by discarding these.”

Lionkit nodded, as though it made perfect sense. But Brindlekit stared back at him somewhat intently, her small head tilting. “But what if we don’t like them?”

Rolling his eyes halfheartedly, the tom responded, “Then I’ll finish it for you.” _Well, maybe not the adder. I can give that to Addergaze._ At that thought, he almost purred.

Brindlekit seemed satisfied by his words, and flopped down with her piece of fresh-kill. She bit into hers, and Lionkit quickly followed suit with her own. Their faces scrunched up at the taste, but they didn’t seem particularly disgusted or unhappy, so they continued to dig into what they were given. Relieved, Stormear sat down on the grass and curled his tail around his paws.

It wasn’t long until Darkember’s kits had finished eating, and it also didn’t take much convincing on his part to get Lionkit to play with her littermate. The two of them appeared more energized than ever before—which was a bit worrying— and eventually, they began running around the camp like a pair of crazed squirrels.

“If they keep this up, we’ll have to make them apprentices early,” a voice mewed from behind, and Stormear turned to see Fawnpelt observing the chaos as well. He let out a friendly purr.

“True,” he replied. “Heh... I don’t know how Darkember does it.”

The more he pondered his own words, the more they held double meaning, and his smile faded. Noticing, Fawnpelt set herself down beside him.

“She has you to help her now,” she pointed out. “We’ll both help her.”

Stormear nodded slowly, though his eyes were still sad. “I know, but... I feel like I should be doing more. She’s really hurting, and I don’t know how to fix it. I told her to try to fight it, but...”

He trailed off, his fur rising slightly as he turned to his friend. “What if she can’t?” he whispered. “What if she... What if I messed up, and—”

“You haven’t messed up, and you won’t,” Fawnpelt interrupted. “You’re doing everything you can.”

“But what if it’s—”

“It _is_ enough.” She moved forward, pressing her nose into his fur. “She just needs time. Everyone does, Stormear. We’re _all_ in a tough situation right now; every heartbeat that passes by, even. And fretting about that won’t change things.”

The tom let out a sigh, resting his head on his paws. He knew she was right, but... “I just don’t want her to make the wrong decisions. Or...” He forced his breathing to remain steady. “...Do anything drastic.”

“She won’t,” Fawnpelt assured gently. “We’ll make sure of that. And besides,” she added, nudging him, “if there’s any cat that can lift her spirits, it’s you.”

Blinking at her, Stormear paused; and a moment later, his small grin returned. “Yes... You’re right! I don’t know what I’m thinking.” He rose to his paws, tail lifting in newfound confidence. “She’ll be fine!” he said brightly.

Fawnpelt joined him, her eyes twinkling. “See? What did I tell you? All this blubbering will get us nowhere!” Nudging him once more, she mewed, “Come on, let’s go find some moss. Maybe we can keep those two kits of hers out of trouble for a while.”

Another purr rumbling in his throat, Stormear followed his friend’s lead as she trotted off.

\---

“Yes! I got it, _finally_!” Lionkit squealed as she landed, clutching the moss ball in her paws protectively. Brindlekit tried to advance towards her, but Lionkit faced her littermate with an angry hiss.

“You can’t keep it forever,” complained Brindlekit. “Stormear still hasn’t had a turn!”

“Oh, I’m fine,” the tom called from the sidelines, his voice full of amusement. “I used to play this game all the time when I was a kit.”

Her attention turning to him now rather than the game, Brindlekit began padding over to him. “Really? Do you think you could teach Lionkit how to play? She needs to learn some manners!”

Lionkit let out a huff of annoyance. “You’re not much better!” she yelled, only to roll out of the way as her littermate came barreling towards her. It wasn’t until she was out of the way that she realized her mistake, and she gasped all-too dramatically.

“How _dare_ you!” she practically shrieked, launching herself at the ball yet again. With the moss in her jaws, Brindlekit merely side-stepped away, and Lionkit hit the ground with an “ _Umph_!”

Stormear and Fawnpelt could barely contain their laughter. “Okay,” purred Stormear, “why don’t we just take a break for now?”

At that, Brindlekit let the moss go, prompting Lionkit to dive for it. “Sounds good to me!” she mewed, ignoring her littermate as she glared daggers at her.

As Stormear turned his head to the nursery, his grin suddenly disappeared, and his purr died in his throat. _Oh, right,_ he thought, looking almost sadly at the queen that stood in the entrance. Briefly, he recalled telling Fawnpelt to watch the kits for a moment, and then found himself in front of said queen.

“Hi, Darkember,” he meowed, reinforcing a smile back into place. “Did you sleep well?”

The tortoiseshell blinked, and for a moment, her gaze darted to her paws. “I think so,” she responded.

 _She hesitated,_ he realized, but his smile remained. “That’s good.”

Again, she met his eyes, seeming almost shameful. “Were Lionkit and Brindlekit okay?” she mewed anxiously. “I... I know I should have taken care of them myself, I’m s—”

He cut in, “No, they were fine! Great even, heh. I just...” For a moment, everything slowed around him, and his mind went blank. “Uh, yeah, they’re great,” he said finally, his voice almost hoarse. _She must have noticed. She_ had _to have noticed. She’ll ask me what’s wrong and..._

“What’s wrong?”

His heart dropped.

“Nothing!” Stormear said quickly. “Nothing at all, really. I suppose I am just tired, too.”

Darkember blinked at him again. “Are you sure?” she mewed, her voice quiet. “You seem... Bothered by something. Are you certain everything is fine?”

Stormear hesitated. He knew she could pick up on it, but he almost didn’t care. ( _Almost._ )“Like I said, I’m just really tired,” he concluded. “Those kits took a lot out of me, heh...”

She merely looked back at him, and for the second time, it felt like his heart dropped straight to his paws. Was that concern in her gaze? _Dear StarClan, why should she be concerned about_ me _?_

“Alright,” she meowed slowly, and instantly, he knew she didn’t believe him. Still, he kept smiling.

“Well, see you tomorrow!” he mewed cheerfully, then whirled on his paws and padded back to Fawnpelt. It took everything in his power not to simply run away completely, and hide himself away from any eye that might peer at him, or any other worried gaze that would just make everything worse.

Soon after, Lionkit and Brindlekit returned to their mother, and the sun descended below the clouds. As moonhigh approached, Stormear felt a true weariness taking over his bones, and he planted himself in his nest for the evening.

However, despite this, he could not rest, and tossed and turned as the night wore on. Every once in a while, he found himself casting even more glances in the nursery’s direction, as though praying she might somehow know beforehand. She had so much on her mind anyway, he thought miserably. Surely, he would make everything worse when he told her.

_But I have to. If I don’t, she may get into even more trouble, and that’s the last thing I want._

She was already suffering. Wasn’t it enough, without that fox-heart getting in the way?

Sighing, Stormear tucked his nose under his tail, and attempted to drift off once more. Even then he still he had trouble, and by the time he did fall asleep, dawn was not far away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so you know, Stormear and Fawnpelt's friendship is only brought on by previous circumstances. All you need to know for now is that some of it does have to do with Darkember.
> 
> By the way, what Stormear wants to tell Darkember here has to do with something he found out on the patrol he went on. (But the rest of the patrol doesn't know, for reasons that will come up later.)  
> What it is that he found out also involves the incident with the TwilightClan patrol a couple chapters back, when Darkember got in trouble for "being near their border." Just to make it clear, she really wasn't lying, and she really did never leave camp.
> 
> Either way, all (if not, most) of this will be explained in the next chapter. ;)


	8. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> after days of forcing myself to finish this I DID IT WOO
> 
> Sorry, lol. I'm just happy I finally got this one done. I'm not completely happy with this chapter, but I did my best. I hope you like it anyway! This chapter is back in Darkember's POV, and we get a little more interaction between her and Stormear. :)
> 
> By the way, if you're still confused about what's happening, read the Author's Note below!

By the time sunhigh had passed, Darkember was still asleep in her nest. What woke her up was the sound of voices outside, rather than her own mind, and upon realizing what time it was, she quickly made her way out of the den. As she stood in the entrance observing the activity in camp, she noticed Stormear sitting by the medicine den. Even while she was several fox-lengths away, it was hard to mistake the anxiousness in his gaze as he looked around, his tail flicking back and forth.

It didn’t take him long to spot her, and when he did his face lit up. In just a few heartbeats, he was in front of her.

“Thank StarClan you’re okay! I mean, are you?” he added quickly. “You slept for so long and—”

“I’m fine,” she cut in flatly. After seeing the startled and almost hurt look in his eyes, she mewed in a softer tone, “I’m sorry. I didn’t know I would sleep so late, either. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

The black and white tom lowered his eyes. “I... I wasn’t _scared_ ,” he began, but it came out as more of a squeak.

 _So it seems,_ she thought with a slight roll of her eyes. Sighing, she gave her pelt a thorough shake. “Really, I’m sorry,” she went on. “I hope my kits didn’t cause you any more trouble than yesterday. If I had known I would wake this late...”

“It’s fine,” Stormear assured with a smile. “But I do admit, it will be a relief when those two are made apprentices.”

If _they’re made apprentices._ Darkember struggled to force the thought out of her mind and smile back, however fake it was. “Indeed. Anyway, was there something else you needed?”

At that, his grin disappeared, and she almost wished she could take her question back. “Actually, yes,” he stated, the anxiety in his gaze returning. “I was... Hoping I could tell you something important. But...” He glanced around. “It can’t be here.”

Darkember blinked. “Why not?”

“You’ll see why,” was all he murmured. “I... Let’s talk outside camp.”

“ _Outside_?” Before she could stop herself, she gasped it out like the word itself was forbidden by the Warrior Code. “But Lilystar said—”

“I know what she said,” he mewed, his voice gentle. “I’ll just say it was my idea. I promise, you won’t get in trouble for anything.”

“But I...” The tortoiseshell flattened her ears, torn by his offer. _I’ve felt so_ trapped _here these past moons,_ she thought miserably. _But is it worth the risk?_

Then again... Maybe he could find a way. And besides, if it _was_ this important, as it seemed, shouldn’t she go?

“Okay,” she breathed finally. “If you’re sure, we can do that.”

The tom’s smile returned. “Okay! I already talked to Fawnpelt, and she said she’ll look after your kits while we’re gone, so you don’t have to worry about that either.”

 _He planned this whole thing? What exactly does he want to talk about?_ She nodded in acknowledgement, though a slight chill ran up her spine. He seemed optimistic as ever on the surface, but somehow, she could tell by his stance that something was bothering him still. She nearly asked him if he was sure she wasn’t in trouble already, but kept her jaw shut.

Flicking his tail briefly, Stormear led the way to the camp entrance, seeming to ignore any glances that were sent their way. Darkember kept close behind as they padded out into the forest, fur prickling with unease.

 

As they made their way through the forest, her attention kept wandering from where she was putting her paws. She tried not to let it slow her, but after practically being prisoner in her own home, she couldn’t help it. Every small bush and upturned log seemed extraordinary to her, and filled her with a freedom she hadn’t known for so long. Even the squawking birds from above the trees, which she normally considered a nuisance, overwhelmed her with wonder and joy.

“I’ve forgotten what it’s like to be a warrior,” she murmured out loud. Stormear turned his head towards her, blinking sympathetically as he came to a  stop.

“It won’t be like this forever,” he promised softly. “You’ll be a true warrior again one day.”

 _And when will “one day” be?_ She sighed, her tail drooping slightly. “I guess so.”

He hesitated before starting off again, and she forced herself to pick up the pace.

The two of them walked for a while before they reached the edge of the forest, the lake stretching out far ahead of them. It seemed larger than Darkember imagined it last, and she involuntarily shivered as they walked up to the shore.

“Is this spot okay?” Stormear must have noticed, as he was gazing at her with something like worry. She nodded quickly.

“I’m just a little disoriented, that’s all,” she mewed. “But I’m fine. There was something you wanted to tell me, right?”

Ignoring how she changed the subject, the tom sat on his haunches, and Darkember followed suit. However, after many heartbeats, he remained silent, simply shifting his weight awkwardly from paw to paw.

“Go on,” she encouraged slowly.

“Right. Sorry.” He shook his head, as though shaking away whatever thoughts that kept him from speaking. “I... I didn’t want to tell you this, but I feel like you should know, and...”

He trailed off, then took a deep breath, as though to calm his nerves. “The other day, when I was out on patrol,” he began, “something weird happened. After we checked the border, we decided to split up to hunt. I stayed near the border, though; I’m not sure why,” he added. “I just... Had this feeling.

“I did manage to catch some prey, but...” He trailed off, eyes widening as if he was replaying the memory. “Before I headed back to the others, I-I noticed this really weird scent by the border. It was pretty fresh, so I guess she must have been there not long before I showed up again, and...”

“She?” Darkember questioned with a raised brow. That only seemed to increase his anxiety as he swished his tail nervously over the ground.

“It was Firesplotch’s scent,” he murmured. “It had to have been hers, because I saw her a few fox-lengths from the border itself. She... She was mad, and—” He cut himself off and narrowed his eyes, seeming to process something. “I hope she didn’t see me.”

Flicking an ear, Darkember redirected her gaze a moment to the water washing the sand. “And this is what you wanted to tell me?” she asked, a hint of confusion creeping into her voice.

“No!” he blurted, all-too quickly. “I-I mean... There’s more to it than that. I... I could hear part of what she was saying. She acted like... She had planned something.”

“Planned something?” the queen repeated, even more bewildered. “What do you mean?”

“Maybe I’m just imagining it,” he said suddenly, rising to his paws hastily. “Maybe it’s nothing, I shouldn’t bother you with it, and—”

Jumping to her paws as well, Darkember fixated the warrior with a hard glare. “Not so fast! Tell me what she said.”

Stormear avoided her eyes as he muttered, “No, I really shouldn’t. I’m sorry I ever brought this up, it’s probably nothing to worry about.”

 _Is he_ serious _? What was all this about, then?!_ “You were worried about it before!” she argued in frustration. “And now you’re just denying that anything’s wrong? Obviously, it’s bothering you! Why shouldn’t you bother _me_ with it?”

He stared at his feet, tail nearly touching the ground. “You shouldn’t _have_ to be bothered by this,” he murmured. “After all you’ve gone through...”

Darkember stared back at him, merely blinking as she realized his plight. It seemed an eternity as neither of them uttered a word, simply looking back at each other. Then...

“What did Firesplotch say?” meowed Darkember, softly.

“Darkember...”

“Please.”

He sighed. Slowly, hesitantly, he looked up to meet her gaze, his own expression pained. “I think she’s the reason you got in trouble,” he said hoarsely.

For a moment, neither cat spoke. The fresh, salty air suddenly seemed choking, and the cool breeze suddenly felt cold and daunting.

Shivering once more, Darkember forced herself to respond. “How so?” she said, ignoring the slight tremor in her voice.

“I... I didn’t hear everything, but...” He took another deep breath, though it helped his nerves little. “S-she was saying things like... ‘They brought this on themselves,’ o-or ‘He’ll understand eventually.’ I thought I heard your name too, but maybe I’m just imaging it. I _have_ to be,” he went on, voice rising in distress. “M-maybe I’m just tired. Maybe I should—”

“Wh-why would she say that in front of the border, though?” _Is she crazy? Or_ _i_ _s he really just imaging things?_

“I don’t know, I...”

“...Did you make this up?”

Instantly, the tom froze. After a pause, he stammered out, “D-do you think I did?”

Once more, a long stretch of silence washed over the two cats as they looked back at each other with wide eyes. Darkember swallowed.

“I...” she managed, weakly. “I don’t know. I can’t...”

Without warning, her legs seemed to give out from underneath her, and she pressed her body close to the sand, as though to hide herself. She ignored Stormear’s concerned gaze resting upon her as she choked, “I don’t know about anything anymore. How do I know you’re _not_ simply lying to me? I’m not a mouse-brain!”

Stormear’s amber eyes blinked a slow blink, gazing down at her with sadness. “I never said you were,” he murmured.

“No,” she rasped, nodding her head almost absentmindedly. “You didn’t. But you believe it, don’t you?”

“I—”

“All you’ve wanted to do is cause me pain, haven’t you?!” snapped Darkember, attempting to dig her claws into the gravelly sand. “And now you’re making up stories to get me in trouble!”

“That’s not—”

“I should have known not to trust you!” she wailed, pupils shrinking as she carried on. “I can’t trust _any_ one! My mate left me, my own kits _hate_ me... It’s all just so useless! Why must you do this to me?! Hasn’t everything else been enough?”

“Darkember, listen,” Stormear cut in desperately, his eyes large amber pools of disquiet. “You’re not thinking rationally. I _wouldn’t_ do that to you. You know that! You know _me_ , don’t you?”

“How can I be sure?” she gasped out, face contorted with misery as she lashed her tail. “Every cat I know has betrayed me! How is this any different?”

Stormear took a slight step forward, his own tail twitching. “Because I—” Without reason, it seemed, he stopped himself, flattening his ears. “You’re my friend,” he meowed instead, and redirected his gaze to his paws. “I could _never_ hurt you like that.

“I care about you,” he went on quietly. “That’s why I told you this. It would have done no good to keep it a secret. I promise, this wasn’t to hurt you.”

A moment passed, and Darkember’s fur settled on her shoulders again. She watched him shuffle his paws on the sand, as though for the first time realizing who she was talking to. There was no ill-intent in his stance, nor any sense of vengeance reflected in his eyes. Even if his story didn’t make sense...

_No. This cat would never intentionally harm me._

“...I believe you,” she finally said. “I’m sorry I... Went off on you like that.” He hadn’t deserved it. She knew that now.

To her relief, his gaze met hers, his downcast beginning to fade away. “It’s okay,” he mewed, smiling that kind smile of his. That _foolish_ smile. Who’d ever smile at her like that? She didn’t deserve that. She never had. Why would he...

“I know you wouldn’t do something like that,” the tortoiseshell sighed, watching shamefully at the waves that lapped at the shore. “I see that now. You...” Her breath faltered, as if she had choked on the air itself. “You really are telling the truth, aren't you?”

Slowly, he nodded, the darkness in his expression returning. “This is why I didn’t want to tell you. I knew you were going through so much already, and I...”

When he didn’t finish, Darkember finished the sentence for him in her mind, and her eyes widened. “But why?” she asked in disbelief. “Even now, why would you be trying to protect me?”

“I told you, didn’t I?” he mewed. “I'm... I'm your friend, and I don’t want you getting in trouble for something that isn’t your fault.”

 _Why not? I deserve it anyways!_ Suddenly, a wave of indescribable anger pulsed through her, and she pressed her claws against the sand until it hurt. “But it _was_ my fault!” she hissed, eyes narrowing to tiny slits as she glared down at her paws. “ _Everything_ is. Don’t you understand that yet? Regardless of some lunatic she-cat’s words, I caused it in the _first_ place! And you can’t deny that, no matter how hard you try to justify it.”

Stormear’s mouth hung open in a silent excuse. Then, he murmured, “That doesn’t make it right.”

Her own eyes looking back at him blankly, it was Darkember’s turn to be speechless. Reluctantly, she rose to her paws. “Well, even with this information,” she meowed awkwardly, “we can’t just tell Lilystar about it. She’d never believe me. And my punishment is over anyways; there’s no use, even if it might remove one lie about me.”

The black and white tom shook his head. “That isn’t what I’m worried about,” he responded.

“Then what are you worried about?” Darkember questioned. Instead of answering her question, Stormear turned his head.

“It doesn’t matter what I’m worried about,” he mewed, giving her a reassuring glance. “We should head back before they send out a search party for us.”

Darkember flicked her tail tip, though did not say anything further. Without much of a word between the two, they headed off through the trees once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So basically, this is the whole story:
> 
> Firesplotch is actually the sister of Tigerpatch. She's always had kind of had this vendetta against BlossomClan but upon finding out about her brother's past affair, this sent her over the edge. She felt hurt that he wouldn't have trusted her enough to tell her about it, and blamed it all on Darkember.  
> So, with all this in mind, Firesplotch pretended to have seen Darkember near TwilightClan's border, more or less "looking for someone," as she had put it. So a patrol of TwilightClan cats decided to take this up specifically with a border patrol from BlossomClan, which is how Darkember gets in trouble.
> 
> This brings us to the present day. Like Stormear said, they split up on patrol to go hunting, and he stayed near BlossomClan/TwilightClan's border just out of a feeling. (Y'know, the feeling you get when something bad's about to happen/just happened.) He wandered off a little ways and then returned, to pick up Firesplotch's scent nearby. She showed up not long after he left, but didn't see him return.  
> Some time before, Tigerpatch had found out about Firesplotch's plan. Even having left Darkember, he was NOT happy with his sister for trying to sabotage his former mate like that, and the two got into a huge fight. Outraged, Firesplotch left camp and tried to calm herself down, but ended up at the border purely out of spite. She starts trying to convince herself that she had done the right thing, and Tigerpatch just didn't understand why she had done what she did. That's when Stormear shows up and happens to hear her conversation with herself, haha.  
> (Yes, I'm aware that seems very convenient, but Firesplotch is emotionally vulnerable here and also not very bright, haha. Plus, she tends to be very egotistical, and automatically assumes she can do whatever she wants without facing the consequences, which leads to her getting caught by her brother in the first place. I mean, the characters themselves kind of acknowledge that what Firesplotch did doesn't make sense, lol.)
> 
> If there's a question I didn't answer here or you're curious about something else, feel free to let me know!


	9. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok whew um
> 
> Finally found inspiration and finished two more chapters for this story to make up for all the inactivity, haha. These chapters are also kind of like a turning point for the story, so...
> 
> It's really late and I'm very tired as I'm posting this, so the next chapter will be posted some time tomorrow! That one will kind of explain part of why Stormear is so insistent on helping Darkember, everything considered. ;)

With each heartbeat that went by, Darkember’s own heart pounded inside her chest, heavy as stone. Did anyone know? Could any cat hear it?

“Why won’t Lilystar just hurry up already?” Brindlekit complained, pacing back and forth in front of her. “Has she forgotten or something?”

“Don’t disrespect your leader,” meowed Darkember sternly. “It should be soon. Now, sit your rump over her so I can clean you!”

“Why _should_ we respect her?” the large she-kit hissed as she stomped towards her mother reluctantly, tail twitching. “She never talks to us, or you. She’s always avoiding us.”

“And she always gives us these weird looks,” Lionkit added quietly, ears drooping. “I don’t think she likes us, Mama.”

The tortoiseshell paused mid-lick as she groomed her other daughter’s fur. “She does like you,” she mewed after a moment. “She’s just... Busy.”

“Busy enough to glare at us, that’s for sure,” Brindlekit muttered, twisting out of  Darkember’s reach. “She finds time for our clanmates! What’s the problem with us?”

“Did we do something wrong?” Lionkit whimpered.

The queen stopped trying to pull Brindlekit back. Gaze softening, she let her form sag for a moment, and sighed. “No,” she assured gently, wrapping her tail around her paws. “Neither of you did _anything_ wrong.”

“Then why are we so...” Brindlekit flattened her ears. “Different?”

Darkember turned her eyes to her paws, trying to think up a good response. “...It doesn’t matter that you’re different,” she finally said, firmly. “If Lilystar can’t see that, then that’s her problem.”

Twitching her whiskers, the queen rose to her paws. “Now let’s make sure we’re not late,” she meowed.

 

“From this day on, until you both receive your warrior names, you will be known as Brindlepaw and Lionpaw. Your mentors will be Ravenstep and Flameleap.”

As Darkember chanted out her daughters’ new names, she felt a pit form in her stomach. She could tell there were some who only joined in out of courtesy to the clan, and a few didn’t even utter a sound. Lilystar herself remained silent upon the ledge, staring down at the two apprentices with something like judgement.

Even still, almost half of the clan didn’t seem intent on shunning her kits right away. Stormear and Fawnpelt, sitting nearby, shouted the loudest, and the pit in her belly slowly faded away.

When it came time for the two to touch noses with their mentors, they both were quite eager to; their mentors less so, but seemingly earnest all the same. Yet, the fact that Lilystar had chosen those two specifically bothered Darkember. _Ravenstep_ _and_ _Flameleap_ _are two of the strictest cats here. Did she do that on purpose?_

Did Lilystar still think they weren’t good enough?

 _But they’re not like me! They’re good cats, and I bet they’ll be even better warriors._ Bitterly, she dug her claws into the ground. “She’ll see,” she muttered. “They will _all_ see. My kits will make this clan stronger than it ever was.”

“I’m sure they will,” a voice mewed beside her, making her jump. She relaxed a heartbeat later, seeing that it was Stormear and Fawnpelt.

“Sorry, we didn’t mean to eavesdrop,” the medicine cat mewed apologetically. “We just wanted to see if you were doing alright.”

“I’m fine,” Darkember responded rather tightly. Realizing her tone, she softened. “Thank you. I do appreciate it, but you really shouldn’t worry about me. Isn’t this a happy moment for us? For me, anyway?”

Stormear nodded slightly, though he still looked unsure. “It is,” he agreed, “but I know you—”

“I’m fine,” she repeated, flicking her tail. “Fawnpelt, would you like some help in the medicine den? Since my queen days are over, I might as well make myself useful in that regard.”

Fawnpelt and Stormear shared a glance. “Well, of course,” Fawnpelt murmured. “We’re always looking for an extra set of paws, but...”

“It’s settled, then.” Once again, the she-cat rose to her feet dutifully, whiskers twitching. “Just lead the way,” she added, forcing a smile.

The younger she-cat flattened her ears, but dipped her head, and the three started toward the medicine den.

 

After talking to Fawnpelt, Darkember decided to remove ticks from Ivyleaf’s pelt. Stormear offered to come help her, as he hadn’t visited the elder since the sunrise before, and Darkember gave in after some prodding.

Neither of them spoke to each other as they headed towards the den, nor had they spoken much since their conversation a moon ago. Darkember still felt ashamed about going off on him, and tried to avoid talking to him at any cost. It wasn’t that she thought he’d shun her—as, at this point, it was clear she could do no wrong by this tom—but it hurt to look him in the eye all the same.

He had forgiven her, she knew. He’d forgiven her for everything, and yet... She didn’t understand it. Why must he be so nice to her? What had she done to deserve this?

Why did he _care_?

Well, maybe she could ask Fawnpelt. Those two were close, so maybe she could tell her why he was like this. ...Ugh, no, that sounded cruel, the way she thought about it like that. He was only trying to help.

What she truly didn’t understand was why _she_ was so ungrateful.

Lost in thought, she forgot where she had been going, and her muzzle suddenly plunged itself into thick brush. Startled, she let out a yelp and stumbled backwards, fur automatically beginning to bristle. After a few moments, the ringing in her ears dispersed and she registered Stormear’s voice.

“Are you alright?” he asked, mew tight with worry. “I tried to stop you, but...”

Blinking, she realized she was still outside the elders’ den, a few mouse-lengths away from the entrance. Her nose had hit the outer walls of the shelter, and she supposed she must have strayed somewhat. Distantly, somewhere between her thoughts and aloof behavior, she recalled hearing Stormear’s faint calling, trying to keep her on a straight path to the den’s entrance.

“I’m sorry,” she said, pelt now prickling with embarrassment _and_ shame. “I-I didn’t...” Shaking her head, she readjusted her direction and huffed. “Never mind that. We’ve wasted enough time already.”

She felt Stormear’s gaze following her, but paid no mind to him and continued padding into the elders’ den. Hearing their approach, a large, white she-cat lifted her head from her nest in the corner of the den.

She blinked her pale eyes at them, as though trying to see them—to no avail, of course. “Darkember,” she meowed, her voice thin and raspy, though gentle all the same. “And Stormear, is it?”

After setting down her mouse bile-soaked moss, Darkember nodded, then jolted and said aloud, “Yes, we’re both here. Are you thirsty?”

Ivyleaf seemed to ponder this for a moment. “A little, yes,” she said at last. “Would it do you any trouble if you gave me water?”

Stormear dipped his head. “Of course not. I’ll get it for you, if you like.”

The old she-cat purred. “Thank you, dear.”

Purring back, the tom darted back out of the den, leaving Darkember alone with Ivyleaf. The younger she-cat shifted from paw to paw nervously, before the elder’s voice broke the silence.

“You don’t have to be nervous,” she mewed softly. “I don’t bite.”

 _How did she know?!_ Darkember thought in alarm. _Am I really that obvious?_ She stammered out, “I-I know, I’m sorry, I just... It’s been a while since I’ve visited you, that’s all.”

Ivyleaf nodded. “It has,” she agreed. “But—”

“Oh, Stormear’s back!” Darkember mewed a little too loudly, watching anxiously as the warrior made his way back into the den. “I guess I should be tending to your ticks now.”

Without waiting for Ivyleaf’s response, Darkember hurried the mouse bile over to her and got to work immediately, as though trying to prevent the elder from saying anything further. As began she rubbing the foul-smelling liquid over the she-cat’s ticks, she felt a small wave of annoyance flooding off the elder, as she clearly wasn’t pleased with the younger’s interruption.

Still, Ivyleaf made no complaint, engaging calmly in conversation with Stormear after lapping up the water he’d given her. They talked mostly about the weather, and how leaf-fall was soon to be arriving. Eventually, Darkember tuned them out, not interested in hearing their small talk.

“Oh, did you hear Lionpaw and Brindlepaw’s apprentice ceremony?” piped Stormear, making the tortoiseshell freeze mid-tick-in-jaw. She crushed it between her teeth and spat it out quickly, ears twitching.

“Yes,” responded, Ivyleaf, something like amusement in her tone. “Brindlepaw was especially excited, it seemed.”

 _So? It’s her first time as an apprentice!_ Before she could voice her complaints over the matter, Stormear flashed her an assuring glance.

“They’ll make fine warriors,” he meowed.

To Darkember’s surprise, Ivyleaf curled her tail happily. “You’ve done a fine job with them, Darkember. You have every right to be proud of them.”

Her pelt feeling hot, Darkember retorted, “And what of their clanmates? I’m sure they don’t think the same.”

“Maybe not right now, but they will,” Stormear promised.

He sounded so sure of himself that she almost wanted to believe it, and join in on their enthusiasm; yet, something kept her from doing so. Her very heart ache beginning to ache, she rose to her paws. “Well, I’ve finished,” she uttered stiffly. “I’ll just dispose of this mess, if you don’t mind.”

Pushing the crumpled pile of ticks away from the nest further, Darkember picked up the dirty moss ball once more and moved towards the exit.

“It isn’t as hopeless as you think, you know.”

The tortoiseshell came to a sudden halt at the elder’s words. She tried hard to ignore it, but ended up glancing back, and found Ivyleaf staring directly at her, her sightless eyes seeming to look right through her.

Unnerved, she turned her head back around. “What do you mean?”

“It isn’t hopeless,” the white she-cat repeated gently. “You’re not a bad cat. One day, everyone will see you for who you truly are.”

 _Who I truly...?_ Darkember snorted, ears now pinned flat against her head. “You’re mistaken,” she hissed softly. “You don’t know a single thing about me.”

“I know you’re hurting,” Ivyleaf said with finality. “And regardless of what you think, it _isn’t_ hopeless.”

Paws tingling with agitation, Darkember marched out of the den. _Crazy she-cat!_  she thought angrily as her tail flicked back and forth.

Stormear glanced back at the elder, mewed goodbye, then followed.


	10. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY this baby is done. Granted, took me a lot longer to post than I had intended but I hope you like it all the same! Like I said, these two chapters are more or less a turning point in the story; this one especially, in its own way. The last one was more "psychical," as Brindlekit and Lionkit were made apprentices, but this one is more "psychological/emotional." We're basically in the endgame now, haha.
> 
> Also, a bit more of character development in this one! Specifically on Stormear, as this chapter is another one in his POV. I don't know how many more he'll have, we'll see. ^^
> 
> Without further adieu, here's the next chapter!

“What was _that_ about?” growled Darkember to Stormear.

Darkember’s fur bristled all along her spine, and no matter how much Stormear tried to calm her, she didn’t seem to pay any mind. “She’s just trying to help,” he mewed, for what seemed like the hundredth time. “You must understand that. Everyone’s worried about you.”

“ _Everyone_?” Suddenly, the she-cat spun toward him, pupils narrowed to tiny slits as she glared at him. “If truly everyone was worried about me,” she snapped, “they wouldn’t treat me the way they do now!”

“Darkember, that’s not...”

“No one cares about me! No one’s ‘worried’ about me, or so you say!” She whipped back around but did not continue walking, tail lashing furiously. “I’m sick of you trying to fix everything,” she went on heatedly. “No one can fix this! NO ONE!”

At this point, those remaining in camp had stopped to stare at them; some curious, most hostile as they heard the former queen berate the young warrior. Stormear merely twitched his whiskers, trying to block their stares out. 

Slowly, he walked around to face her. “Darkember,” he began gently, again. “You’re not thinking straight. I’m sorry Ivyleaf made you upset, but she really is just trying to help you, I promise. You believe me, don’t you?”

Darkember lifted her head slowly to meet his gaze, eyes troubled and sad. “I don’t know what I believe anymore,” she choked.

Stormear’s heart felt like it had dropped to his paws, and by the time he responded, his own voice shook. “I-it’s okay, I’ll... I’ll fix this. I can fix this.” _Please, let me fix it,_ he begged silently.

“Fix what?” she whispered hoarsely.

Oh... Right. What _did_ he want to fix, exactly? He wasn’t even sure himself at this point, really. He just knew he couldn’t stand seeing that sorrow in her eyes.

He’d do anything to erase it.

If he was going to fix _anything_ , he needed to fix that.

“Come on,” he meowed, switching directions. “Follow me.”

 

By now, the sun was sinking below the clouds, bright hues of orange and pink lighting up the sky. The air still smelled fresh, but with a hint of dead leaves on the breeze, enforcing the soon-to-be arrival of the season. Darkember walked by his side almost despairingly, though the sights and sounds seemed to keep her head up a little. She remained quiet the entire time, and surprisingly didn’t make a complaint about being out of camp.

After some time, they reached the edge of the forest, the lake stretching out before them like a blanket of silver. Once more, Darkember lifted her head, albeit slowly. “Why are we here again?” she asked.

It was hard mistaking the distress in her voice and eyes, as she clearly hadn’t forgotten the last time he’d brought her outside of camp, and before Stormear could stress longer about it he mewed, “I wanted to cheer you up, that’s all.”

“Why?” Her eyes searched him almost curiously, an unspoken question hidden in them. _Why do this for me?_ they likely inquired.

 _Why do I need a reason to do anything for you?_ he wanted to say. Instead, he smiled at her. “I know you’ve been stressed lately,” he went on. “Especially since your kits are now apprentices.”

“So? Why should that concern either of us?”

“You think you don’t have a purpose anymore.”

The tortoiseshell’s eyes widened. After a pause, she twitched her whiskers, not looking particularly pleased, nor angry. “Maybe,” she meowed vaguely. “Even still, I don’t see how that has to do with you.”

Mousedung. She wasn’t making this easy. “It does,” Stormear said with finality, slight frustration poking at him. “Any problem you face is mine as well.”

She huffed, turning her gaze to the sandy shore of the lake nearby. “Sometimes, I really do not understand you,” she grumbled.

“You don’t have to,” he replied lightly. And, for just a heartbeat—a short, precious heartbeat—a smile flickered across her muzzle.

“I suppose you’ve just always been like that, haven’t you?” she mewed.

Just hearing those words alone made his heart feel like soaring. He had to stop himself from losing his balance and rolling down into the water. “I-I guess,” he stammered, trying to firmly plant his paws in the earth.

“I’m sorry I didn’t see that.”

Then, her expression was downcast again, and his heart sank. “It’s okay. You’ve been going through a lot, and...”

Oh, who was he kidding? Regardless of what he said to her, she’d still be upset. _Mousebrain_ _!_ he thought to himself.

Darkember scuffed the dirt with a paw. “That’s no excuse for my behavior,” she murmured. “I’ve known you since you started out as an apprentice. I should have known you wouldn’t...” Her ears flattened and her voice grew thick with regret. “I’m sorry. I should trust you, but I...” 

“Hey, it’s okay,” he assured softly, reaching out with his own paw as though to comfort her. He faltered, and drew back. “I was the one who... Never really tried to talk to you, heh.”

“But you’ve always been so kind,” she contradicted. “Even then. I shouldn’t have just... Disregarded you like I did. I’ve treated you like you’re nothing! I always have, haven’t I?”

“N-no!” he protested, alarm surging through him like a wave from the lake itself. “Y-you never did! I was the one who messed up! I-I never should have taken you for granted!”

She paused, staring at him in confusion. “What? What do you mean you—”

“I wish you’d stop blaming yourself for everything!” Stormear blurted desperately. The fur on his spine rose as he went on, and his claws unsheathed themselves, digging into the dirt as though it might somehow secure him. “ _None_ of this is your fault!”

“But I—”

“I don’t _care_ about that! You were happy!”

Darkember took a step backward, her eyes large and shock-ridden. Her tail twitched nervously behind her, but she said nothing. Stormear stopped, letting his fur lie flat again.

“I’m sorry,” he mewed immediately, eyes shining with remorse. “I didn’t mean to yell at you, I’m so sorry.”

“...Why does that matter to you?”

Her response, seemingly unrelated to his apologies, startled him, and for a moment he had no clue what to say. Blinking, he stammered out, “Wh-what do you mean?”

She narrowed her eyes, more out of confused inspection rather than anger. “You said you don’t care about what me breaking the Code, because I was happy,” she began slowly. “Why did you say that?”

“Um...” He swallowed, hard. “I-I told you I care about you. I _want_ you to be happy. You don’t deserve to be sad.”

“Yes, but _why_?”

Suddenly, his ears felt hot. _Oh StarClan, please don’t do this to me._ Blinking again, he stuttered, “B-because you’re nice! And you’ve always treated me nicely, even back then.”

Now, she just seemed frustrated as she hissed, “I never even spent time with you!”

“But I _knew_ you!” he argued. “You were always really nice, to everyone! Even my family, when no one else was. And I... I saw you spending time with Lilystar, back when she was still the deputy. You’re what helped her. For StarClan’s sake, you’re one of the reasons this clan exists!” Why did he need any other explanation?

_Why do I need an excuse to love you?!_

“Okay, okay,” muttered Darkember, flicking an ear again. “Point taken.” She let her gaze drift towards the lake, seeming lost in thought for a few heartbeats. “We should probably head back, you know,” she mewed finally, quite a few moments later. “We left pretty abruptly. I’m probably already in trouble, especially if Lilystar finds out this is my second time out here.”

Oh. Right. Where had his mind gone? His tail tip twitching nervously, he practically squeaked, “Y-yeah, that would be a good idea.”

With one last twitch of her whiskers, the tortoiseshell got to her feet and begin padding back towards the forest. Feeling a pang of guilt once again, he hurried to catch up with her. “I-I’m sorry I couldn’t change anything,” he breathed out, feeling as though his belly had tangled itself up in knots.

“How so?”

“You’re... Still upset. I wanted to fix that out here.” _I should have done more._

Darkember’s pace slowed, and she turned to look at him with a sort of kindness that warmed his pelt. “Well, I’m not as upset as I was, am I?” she mused.

“I-I guess not, but...”

“Listen. You’re a good cat. Even if you didn’t, you know, ‘fix’ everything, you still helped a little. You... Always do.” She flashed him another grin, this one longer and more genuine than the last. “And besides, I was asking for too much earlier anyhow. I’ll make it up to you tomorrow; both you and Ivyleaf.”

The knots in his stomach seemed to unwind. “You will?”

“Of course. I owe you that much after how I acted. I know you’re just trying to help me.” Her gaze softened further, but her smile disappeared, disappointingly. “I’m sorry I can’t always see that.”

Without waiting for his response, she quickened her pace yet again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So um yeah, it's official. :') And boy, was it about time. We all saw it coming (as Stormear is terrible at hiding anything and everything), but still! I've been waiting for this get it out for so long you don't even know, haha. Ivyleaf was originally going to make another cameo in this chapter but I ended up changing it. She will show up again soon, though! 
> 
> I'm excited to start writing the next part of this story considering what's happened here but I'm tired. There might be another sudden hiatus in the future, lol.


	11. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whew i've been too active with my stories
> 
> Also, this is the longest chapter so far! I tried to make it as good as I could, haha. I'm thinking the next one will be including a bit more interaction between Darkember and Brindlepaw/Lionpaw. :)

Darkember stood outside the den almost awkwardly, whiskers twitching in a mixture of anticipation and anxiety. It was a little past dawn by now, and she knew it was unlikely she was still asleep. However, she almost wanted to use it as an excuse, to turn tail and flee, and forget about the whole plan of her apologizing.

 _I do want to, she deserves that much, but..._ She might not forgive her. It was a bit silly to think of—that she’d hold a grudge simply for some less-than-polite words and attitude—but the tortoiseshell couldn’t shake the feeling she’d be disregarded; or, worse, laughed at.

Weirdly enough, she found herself missing Stormear’s support. He’d gone on the Dawn Patrol again, and wouldn’t be back for some time still, which was exactly the problem. He knew the elder better than Darkember ever could, and knowing he wouldn’t be there to help mediate if she needed it was almost... Nerve-wracking.

Huh. Since when had she started relying on him so much?

Was she _always_ relying on him like that?

Sighing, she forced those thoughts out of her brain, assuring herself that that wasn’t important right now. And, regardless of how the she-cat might treat her, she needed to apologize.

She sucked in another breath and padded into the den, silently praying to StarClan that her heart wouldn’t beat as loud as it seemed. Luckily for her (or, she thought, _un_ luckily for her), Ivyleaf’s head lifted as she sensed her enter the den. ( _Did_ she merely sense her, or was it because of her scent? She couldn’t have heard her, either, she made sure to stay relatively quiet...)

Darkember cleared her throat, a little too noticeably. If she didn’t heard her before, she had now... “Ivyleaf,” she uttered, more shakily than she would have liked. “May I speak with you?”

By now, the elder’s sightless eyes were trained on her almost intently, unnerving the younger she-cat all the more. “Of course, Darkember,” she mewed. To her surprise, Darkember did not pick out any ill-will in Ivyleaf’s voice.

“O-okay,” she mewed uncertainly. “I’m...”

“You can come closer, if you want.”

She shuffled her paws. “N-no, that’s fine. I...” _Just say it!_ “I... Wanted to apologize to you.”

For a moment, Ivyleaf remained silent. When she spoke, she sounded confused, which only managed to confuse the other she-cat. “Why must you apologize, dear?”

Darkember practically flinched. “For... For what I did the other day.”

“...You think I am mad at you?”

The tortoiseshell blinked, mouth partially agape. “You... You _must_ be, aren’t you? I... I treated you so horribly, and—”

“But I am not mad at you for it.”

Darkember closed her mouth. What was this she-cat talking about? “Why not?” she challenged. “It’s not just _that_ that’s the problem! Do you even realize what I did before then?”

“I know what you did,” said Ivyleaf coolly, “and I am not mad at you.”

“Why?!” blurted Darkember suddenly, trying to understand the elder’s reasoning but failing to do so. “Why aren’t you mad at me? Even after all that I’ve done?!” _After how I’ve treated everyone! Doesn’t that matter to you?_

“That doesn't matter to me,” Ivyleaf continued, as though reading her mind. “Did you not hear what I said before?”

“I did! And you’re mousebrained to believe it!” Darkember cursed herself immediately after uttering the insult, but went on. “You should be mad at me! You should...”

All at once, she couldn’t keep facing Ivyleaf, and her eyes dragged to her paws in disgust. “I _am_ a bad cat,” she repeated hoarsely.

“Darkember...”

She didn’t seem to hear her name being called, simply murmuring again, “I am a bad cat, I _am_...”

“Darkember!”

Slowly, the despaired she-cat lifted her gaze, eyes dark with pain. Though unable to see her, Ivyleaf appeared to know she was looking up, and went on in a softer tone, “Come here.”

“I...”

“Now, please.”

 A pause; then, reluctantly, Darkember trudged over to the elder’s side. She hesitated, but Ivyleaf coaxed her again, and she sat down next to her.

“Now, I want you to listen to me carefully.”

The tortoiseshell merely nodded in acknowledgement, too drained to speak.

“No matter how much it seems,” began the white she-cat gently, “no matter how they treat you, or what you think, none of this is because you’re a horrible cat.”

Darkember opened her jaw to contradict, but Ivyleaf continued. “I’m not saying you didn’t make mistakes. I’m not saying they don’t have at least some right to distrust you as they do. But,” she went on, before she could get too down on herself, “that doesn’t make you deserving of any of this.”

“But the Warrior Code says—”

“I know what it says,” the elder cut in, almost in a retort. “And you’ve been punished enough, don’t you think?”

“But—”

“If you ask me, _Lilystar’s_ mousebrained if she thinks this will solve anything. Don’t you realize how she treats you? How she treats your kits? You’re practically a stranger in her eyes!”

“Well, she’s not far off,” Darkember murmured. Even through her blind gaze, Ivyleaf shot her a glare.

“It isn’t right, Darkember,” she mewed softly. “It isn’t right how _everyone_ treats you. I think, somewhere, you know that, too.”

Several heartbeats of silence passed between the two of them. Then, the younger she-cat rose to her paws, shaking her fur.

“Thank you, Ivyleaf,” she meowed, “I’m glad you think that way. But I intend to repent for my sins, no matter what. I owe it to Lilystar; and if that means being punished for the rest of my days, then so be it.”

Whiskers twitching, she began to walk away, only to stop as Ivyleaf’s voice drifted over to her once more: “Well, that’s simply a shame. Even still, I wish you well, dear.”

Darkember flicked her tail, though not unkindly. “Thanks.”

“You’re a very loyal and honorable she-cat indeed. I can see why Stormear likes you.”

At that, she glanced back at her, a bit flustered. “W-well, that’s what you and him see. It doesn’t make it true.”

“Oh, so you think he’s lying.”

“No, I—...” She cut herself off. “He’s mistaken, that’s all.” _He’s too nice. He doesn’t see me for what I really am._

“We’re both mistaken, then?” Ivyleaf mused curiously.

“No—”

“I believe the same about you as he does, Darkember. After all, we share the same blood. If he’s mistaken, then so am I.”

She dipped her head, almost shamefully. “I didn’t mean you were mistaken, I just...”

“You just can’t find it in yourself to believe it,” concluded the white she-cat.

The tortoiseshell blinked, appearing as helpless as she felt. She glanced to her paws again, unable to face the elder directly. It seemed as though her paleyes were judging her somehow, and it was easier to avoid them all-together, even if they were still dysfunctional.

“No,” she murmured finally. “I guess I can’t.”

After that, Ivyleaf didn’t say much more, somewhat to Darkember’s relief. When she padded back out into the sunshine, she was more relieved than she would have liked to admit to see Stormear having returned to camp. He and the rest of the patrol stopped at the fresh-kill pile, and, upon noticing her, Stormear smiled at her.

In response, a sudden wave of warm gratitude washed over her, and she smiled back at him. _You really are too nice to me,_ she thought. _I’m sorry I can’t see what you see._

She hoped he knew how much she appreciated him, despite that.

\---

“Stormear?”

“Yes?”

“Can I ask you something?”

The two of them were laying down in the sunshine near the back of the camp, out of view from most watchful eyes. It was nearing the end of the day, drawing close to sunset, and they were trying to soak up as much rays as they could before the sun took its evening break.

Darkember had been on her side, paws stretched out, but moved to a sitting position on account of her wanting to talk to him. He noticed, and sat up as well, his amber eyes focused on her as she had uttered her inquisition.

“You can ask me anything, Darkember,” he mewed. His gaze was relatively calm, with a hint of concern hidden somewhere, and the she-cat forced herself to continue.

“You’re okay with me, aren’t you?” Upon realizing how vague her words were, she went on quickly, “I-I mean, I don’t... I don’t bother you, do I?”

This only seemed to confuse the warrior further, and he responded before she could take everything back. “Of course not. Why would you think that?”

“N-no, I don’t, I just...” She glanced away for a moment, sucking in a breath. _Okay. I can do this. He won’t mind..._ “I know you... You said I was your friend, remember? That time you...”

She trailed off, but he nodded slowly, relieving her. “I remember,” he assured, frowning a bit.

“So you... _D_ _o_ consider me as a friend?”

Again, his eyes glowed with bewilderment, and... Something else, that she couldn’t give a name for just yet. “...I suppose so,” he said, almost awkwardly. “Wh-why? D-did I say something to—”

“No!” she snapped, shutting him up quickly. He looked at her in stupor, and her ears flattened. “You didn’t do anything. I was just, you know, wondering...”

“...Yes?”

“That maybe, um...” Here she went again, stalling. _Ugh, why can I never say what I want to? Why is this so hard?!_

She looked back at him again, and this time, his eyes were wider than she expected them to be. In order to free the situation from anymore anxiety, she blurted, “I-is okay if you’re my friend, too?”

For a moment, the world seemed to pause. Stormear, whose tail had been twitching at his side nervously, stopped all movement except for the rising and falling of his chest. His face was blank, as though some cat had personally wiped his emotions away. She couldn’t even begin to comprehend what he was thinking, and a stab of regret poked at her. Just as she opened her mouth—perhaps to throw away her previous request—he spoke.

“Oh. Is that all?” His expression was still blank; unreadable. It was rather frustrating, honestly, and she furrowed her brows.

“Yes,” Darkember meowed, voice coming out in what was pretty much a squeak. “I... I’m sorry, never mind, I’m being—”

“Of course it’s okay, Darkember.” And, just like that, he was smiling again, warm and soft. (Maybe a bit... Happier, than usual?) “That’s what I thought we already were.”

“Yeah... I-I figured, but...” Oh, what was she even saying anymore? “I probably sound like a mousebrain by now,” she muttered.

“You’re not a mousebrain.”

“Well, I feel like it,” she huffed. “I should have assumed we were friends.”

Stormear shook his head, gently. “I knew you were still uncertain about trusting me,” he meowed. “And I don’t blame you for it, not one bit. Still,” he added, purring slightly, “I’m glad you can trust me now. That... Really means a lot to me. Thank you.”

The amount of gratitude in his tone made Darkember blink, and her whiskers twitched almost absentmindedly. “You’re... Welcome?” she replied, laughing nervously. “Though, I’m not sure you why you’d be thanking me. I should be thanking you, remember?”

“No,” he said, once again to her bewilderment. “I don’t need a thanks. I appreciate it, but... It’s not necessary.”

 _...Not necessary?_ “Excuse me?”

Stormear turned his head. “Um... I said it’s not necessary?”

“Mousedung!” Without warning, she sprang to her paws and pointed her nose at him accusingly. “I can’t believe you just said that!” she hissed.

Stormear flinched back from her suddenly-commanding stance, eyes round as her own eyes narrowed. “Wh-what are you talking about?”

“Of _course_ it’s necessary to thank you!” Did he even hear himself?!

“But I—”

“No, don’t argue with me! Let me get this straight,” she added in another huff. “You’ve put up with me this entire time, listening to my woes and looking _past_ the fact that I do nothing other than complain all the time and feel sorry for myself, and  _still_ have the nerve to say you shouldn’t be thanked?”

The tom gazed up at her meekly, tail kinked in embarrassment. “I—Darkember, listen—”

“You listen!” She let out a breath, but didn’t look any calmer as her fur bristled along her spine. “This entire time,” she went on bitterly, “I’ve been focused on all the things _I’ve_ done. I never really stopped to ask you how you felt, and yet you don’t mind! You still smile at me all the time, and you’re still nice to me and my kits! How can that go without being thanked?”

“I-it’s really nothing,” he mumbled weakly, causing her gaze to harden even further.

“Oh, for StarClan’s _sake_ , Stormear! What’s wrong with your reasoning?!” She practically shoved her muzzle into his face, making him shrink back. “Why won’t you just take care of yourself? And don’t even make the excuse you need to take care of _me_ , that’s a load of foxdung.”

She whipped around, missing the flustered expression on his features as he tried to recover from her own face being inches away from his. “Of course I trust you now,” muttered Darkember. “If I didn’t, then clearly there would be something wrong with me.”

The small tortoiseshell sank to her paws, her fur finally beginning to lie flat again. A mixture of satisfaction and anxiety settled in her belly as the warrior beside her remained silent.

“...I owe everything to you, you know that?”

Stormear merely stared back at her, jaw clenched shut as he listened.

“Even when my own friend treats me like dirt, you’re always there for me. I’ve taken you for granted this entire time, and there’s nothing I can do or say that changes that. You always tell me I’m more than they think I am, I’m more than what _I_ think I am. And I can fight this negativity, if I try hard enough, and believe in myself. But I do it because of _you_. I want to _try_ because of you. Don’t you see that? Don’t you see how wonderful you are?”

She turned back around to look at him, her pale green eyes shining with newfound warmth and sincerity. “You always manage to see the good in me,” she choked, “when I don’t. I want to be like that, too. I want to be someone my kits are proud of, someone everyone can be proud of one day. And... I want you to help me with that. I know you can.”

Rising to her paws once more, Darkember took a few steps closer to him, awaiting his response. Slowly, he stood up, fixating her with another expression she couldn’t read.

Then, he smiled.

“Of course I’ll help you,” mewed Stormear softly. “I always will.”

Darkember smiled back. “Yeah, I know. Thanks.”

And, just like that, she heard a soft rumbling noise. It didn’t take her long to realize it was a purr, but it took longer to realize where it was coming from.

...She couldn’t even remember the last time she’d purred.

Apparently, Stormear couldn’t either, as he was staring at her with astonishment. “You’re purring,” he pointed out, as though it weren’t obvious already.

“I... Guess so,” the she-cat meowed in equal astonishment. Upon realizing the situation, she ducked her head, embarrassed.

“W-well, I’ll just... Turn in for the night. See you later.” Darkember spun around and darted off, trying to suppress said purr and avoiding looking back at Stormear.

If she had, even for just a heartbeat, she wouldn’t have missed the adoration reflected in his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just for the record, I do want to make it clear that Stormear is not being nice to Darkember simply so he can get on her "good side" and possibly get her to like him. It's just a matter of him knowing she's suffering, and him wanting to help because that's just the right thing to do; plus, he loves her, and doesn't want to see her in pain. He's just genuinely a nice guy, haha. (As you can probably tell, a bit too nice.)


End file.
